Serendipitous Moments

We arrived safely in Manila this morning at 4:30 a.m. Friday. I know it is Thursday at home but we are 15 hours ahead . We took a taxi to our hotel which was in an alley lined with vendor booths and people sleeping on them with their children. I nearly stepped on a large dead rat which caused  me some concern of course.After storing our luggage we took off for an adventure since we could not check in until 2:00. There is a mall called  Mall of Asia we walked down to (nothing was open of course) but it was fun to see what shops they have and it was also next to the ocean. A number of large ships were docked off in the distance but the thing that intrigued me was a little old man on a small banana shaped boat. He was throwing out his net for a catch and pulling it in, throwing it out again and in again. This was repeated over and over ..  I wondered if this would be his days work .Joggers and bikers were out in numbers at the early morning hour, The sun was  blazing down and  the air was hot and steamy.  I truly felt like I was in a foreign tropical land.

What captured my heart most was seeing the people with their children curled up on their booths and in their pedi – cabs. I wanted to take a picture for the sake of memories but also didn’t want to intrude on their privacy. I was surprised how many of them were sleeping and wondered where they eat and clean up.When we came back to hour hotel this afternoon  the police were tearing down the vendor booths that served as homes earlier in the day. I was saddened to think where will they sleep tonight.

Manilla is similar to China in the traffic, dirt, garbage, noise, and smells. It is definitely tropical climate with lush greenery . But the people are different. They seem to be more loving kind and courteous., they smile a lot, and seem interested in us. I even heard excuse me today and I’m sorry. These are not commonly used words in China..The women have the sweet smile and giggle when they are acknowledged which always endears me to them

We were able to walk through the Manila American Cemetery and Memorial. It was sobering to see row after row of marble crosses in memory of the fallen and missing in action soldiers.  The grounds of 152 acres 17,097 headstones and 16,933 Latin crosses were immaculate with grass cut perfectly and huge trees hovering over the memorials like an umbrella.It gave me a sense of pride knowing this was most likely taken care of by the U.S. and it looked pristine and beautiful.

We walked and walked and walked until our feet were swollen achy and throbbing. Every chance we could get to walk into an air conditioned place and sit we did. It was early and not many places were open. We took a taxi to see the LDS Temple.While walking around people wanted to have conversation with us or my daughter because she could speak their language. The day was wearing on us and we needed some food but could not find a place that suited our taste-buds. As we walked into a little grocery store I saw an American woman. I thought she can speak to me. As I approached her and asked if she was American and where she would suggest we eat she immediately responded with “come to my house..” She was from Gilbert about 2 miles from my home. My daughter knew her daughter and we became immediate friends. We went to her home which was lovely and she made us homemade pasta and cheese.She has been here for 4 years with her husband on assignment for work. Not only did we enjoy our lunch  but we were able to put our feet up in an air conditioned home and  appreciate how no accidents brought us together. I now have a dear friend in Manila who lifted me up when needed. I hope to return the favor someday.

Push Forward

Have you ever had a phone call that makes your heart leap because it will be the next step in your growth? I had one of those today. I always talk about how I like things easy and comfortable. I just push myself when I have to. Therefore sometimes God sees something in me I don’t see and he pushes me. I heard a quote recently that said “There is very little comfort in the growth zone and very little growth in comfort zone. “ I guess that is why I get pushed.
My Chinese students are such an example to me. They tell me I give them strength, I get it back in return. I asked one of my freshmen students if she will remain in the academy next fall because I know it is a big time commitment for them and it requires a lot. This was her response. “Yes, of course I love the WAFW very much; I will stay here next year. I want to change myself and help others. After all, in order to see what we want to be, we need to make some changes. I will take every chance and drop every fear.” I learn so much from them.
I know inside myself that each time I do something that challenges me it forces me to face my fears, my inadequacies and my doubts. “Often it is the deepest pain which empowers you to grow into your highest self.” I say I want to write my book but I have not written in months. I have felt called to do this inside my heart and mind. Why do I let so many distractions stop me? I am pushing myself to write this blog so it gets my juices going and makes me think. I truly do sabotage myself with distractions of what needs to be done as opposed to what I feel called to do in my very being. What are my sabotage’s? The house needs cleaned, work, church, grand kids, stuff. I will continue to push through these as I hope you will too. Don’t we all have distractions? What are yours?

Check Lists

The check lists of my past were abolished about a year ago. When I realized my lists were running me I knew it was time to quit. My brain use to have compartments where I would store information. Things like people’s names, phone numbers, grocery list items, what is Susan’s favorite treat and so on. That mind is gone! I now have one compartment that feels like a million conversations, assignments and duties. In other words it’s a blurr . Consequently if anything is to be done or remembered the check list has reemerged.
My list of things to do before I leave the country started out as a few pages. I leave for the Philippines in 2 hours and my list is done. My grown children laugh at me for cleaning the bathrooms before I leave. It’s important ( ok maybe a little obsessive) to know I can come home to a clean house. My bags are packed and probably over weight. My carry on is loaded with candy and little gifts for my Chinese students graduation. When I walk through villages in China I always give candy or balloons to the children. Their parents have to approve and coax the shy ones to reach out and say xiexie (thank you). I’ts fun and sort of like being the pied piper . After giving out a few pieces of candy other children start to appear out of homes or fields. News spreads fast when a tall American is in town handing out candy. I hope to do the same in the Philippines and share what I can in a community that needs the love.
My nervousness is starting to appear in my stomach. I know what to expect (mostly) when I go to China. I do not know what to expect in the Philippines. We will fly into Manilla and spend a day sight seeing. From there we fly into Tacloban. This is the city that was devastated by Typhoon Haiyan last fall. It is the area my daughter lived in for 18 months as a missionary. We were able to have a friend of hers book us a hotel ( hopefully it will have a bed and bathroom). She has told me stories of the primitive way of life there so I am feeling a bit anxious. I’m spoiled with comforts of my home, food and transportation. It is another challenge I am willing to step into. I want to bring them hope and help in any way I can. Their stories will inspire me I am sure and they will teach me more than I will them.
I have had this trip on my vision board for 2 years. When things call to me I write them down. This called to me at the time and I’m sure there’s a purpose but it doesn’t take away the anxiety for the unknown.
I’m learning to stay open to what’s possible when I don’t plan or know what the outcome of things will be. When I stay open to it I get more than I ever bargained for. Look at what calls to your heart, write it down and let it happen.

Miracles Happen

When I wake up in the morning singing “I believe in Miracles”, I think it is time to write about it. If you google song titles about Miracles there area lot which tells me I am not the only one on the receiving end of miracles. I witness miracles every day, some big, and some small. Sometimes they go unnoticed for weeks, until I recognize what happened. Miracles come in ways we can’t explain. I have always said miracles happen in the world of “weird”, because when one happens don’t we say “wow that was weird”? Accepting and acknowledging miracles for what they are is also living in gratitude. When I feel grateful for what each day brings me I am happier, live in joy and step out of a victim role.

A miracle happened for me yesterday. When I woke up with the flu, I was panicked. I had a client from 10-12 and a speaking engagement in the evening. Just lifting my head off the pillow made me sick. After a prayer pleading for a miracle, I lay back down and slept for another hour. At 9:0-0 I felt good enough to eat a piece of toast and shower. By 10:00 I was in my office feeling fine. At 12:15 I thought I would run some errands.. I started feeling sick again and went home and crawled into bed instead. Every time I got out of bed thinking I would read or write or do something constructive I got sicker. When 6:00 rolled around I felt good enough to get up and eat some fruit. By 7:00 I arrived at my speaking engagement feeling fine. When the evening was over and I got to my home I was weak again. Was it a miracle? Absolutely! It was exactly what I asked for. Let me work and speak was my request.

Miracles happen outside of what we can do or accomplish . We are a busy, ambitions , going, doing people. If we want something bad enough we find ways to make it happen. Miracles occur outside of how we can do it ourselves. We do not earn or deserve miracles they are given by the grace of God. I had no control over my illness yesterday. There was nothing I could take or do to make it go away. Only a miracle could do it , for which I am grateful.

Another miracle is about to happen for me. I have had on my vision board for 2 years that I go to the Philippines with my daughter.She was a missionary there and I would like to meet the people she learned to love and loved her. On May 21 she , her husband and I get to go back and experience her life in the country she loves. From there I will take them with me to China for my women’s academy graduation. It will be so great to share the world that has become my second home with her as well. I will write about my experiences while I am there.

Open your heart and mind to recognize the miracles in your life today. My cup runneth over, how about yours?

Listening To My Heart Leap

I stood in the bathroom this morning watching a little sparrow splash and bathe in the rain gutter. Water was splashing everywhere and he jumped out with wet feathers, shook and jumped in again. Three other birds were standing nearby watching  but not joining him. I wondered if I am like that with taking risks? I feel good when I see and hear of other people taking risks and jumping into big things in life. I just don’t jump in with them. I play relatively safe.Some may think  going to China was a big leap of faith and scary. For me it was. But the minute I heard of the experience my heart jumped and I leaped into the experience full speed ahead. I can’t just say that is my big leap for the next five years, or I’ve met my quota of risks I’m just fine thank you. My first clue of needing to play bigger is when I say “I’m fine”. That means I’m coasting in neutral and gearing up for something. If I’m not gearing up then I need to be. If I teach my students “do something bigger than your self” than how can I comfortably admit  that coasting is okay? I don’t want to expect my students to shift into high gear if I’m not willing to do the same.

The truth is I am not willing to take risks quickly. I have to coast awhile before I can jump in. The little sparrows watched their buddy splashing and playing in the rain gutter while they stood by contemplating the idea, considering that might be fun, but it could be cold and they would be all wet. I am like that when I go to the beach in California.  It’s not warm water any time of the year. I usually sit on the beach for a few days and bask in the sun, watch the waves and wade in up to my knees trying to get the courage to jump in. What happens if I’m only there two days? I miss the moment to play in the waves and feel the exhilaration of riding one into the shore. What I have learned is; when I play safe, I miss out on fun, growth ,challenges, and opportunities to see gifts in myself I wouldn’t see otherwise.

I said “yes” to the China experience the second day I heard about it. My heart jumped but I was scared and had to do some deep pondering and questioned my sanity briefly. When my heart gets a charge like that I cannot question or deny it or I’ll be left with regret. I have had other experiences in my life that brought that same charge . When I was 18 a friend of mine called me while I was finishing my second semester of college and asked me to replace her as a nanny in New York. My first response was much like my one to China. What? You are crazy, I don’t want to go to New York and babysit! When I heard about China I said “What , I don’t want to go to China!!. When I asked her why she told me what she got from the time she had been there and the personal growth that came out of it and difference she made in the lives of four little boys. I hung up the phone and felt the heart leap again. At 18 I wasn’t sure what to make of it so I sat with it, and prayed about it for a few days. I called her back and committed to it. Was I scared? Yes. Was I excited? Yes. I had never been too far from home other than Idaho for college. The limousine service picked me up at the airport and took me to the home I was to make my residence in Scarsdale New York. I was greeted by 4 beautiful little boys with brown hair and big brown mischievous eyes ages 2,4,8, and 10.

I have never played sports, but with four boys I learned very quickly that is what they like to do. My first afternoon there we played softball in the back yard. I was up to bat and hit the ball ( unbelievable) over the fence! It was a miracle. The boys followed the ball with their eyes, mouths hanging open (as well as myself). They turned to me and asked “Are you the Bionic Woman?” (She was popular in the seventies). For the next five days the boys would bring home their friends  to meet me and stare at me because they told them of my great accomplishment and of course that I was the “bionic woman”. I won their love and admiration immediately. They won mine. I learned how to depend on God while I was there when I got lonely or when I had hard days. There were times I questioned why I was there and what was my purpose. I realized these boys needed a mom who spent time with them and gave them some attention with playing games, eating meals and reading to them. When their mother asked me why I was so happy, I could only tell her it was because I followed my heart and did the things I was called to do which generally came from God. I also suggested she spend time with her children and she would experience more happiness than she had ever known. That was a risky thing to do, but she tried it for a few weeks, and I saw a difference in her.

Going to China did a lot of the same things for me. I got lonely and questioned myself why I was there. I had to depend on God and miracles to keep me there. When I saw that I could bring some light into the lives of my students by teaching them  not  to give up on their dreams and to share their talents with others I was rewarded beyond measure. I continue to get rewards  from the students. When I see their growth and willingness to take big risks, to learn and be better, I am  in awe of their courage. Some are teaching handicapped children, others working with big companies in Shanghai, one started a school for students to dream big, others have set their sights on graduate school in the U.S.  Listening to my heart  leap and jumping in has become an intentional objective for me.