It's My Pleasure

What a beautiful sentence that I hear so frequently from my students after they have generously served me. I know I’ve written about this before. I am once again reminded of the genuine, pure quality of their interest in serving. The term” without guile” keeps coming to me as a perfect description of who my students are. I cannot speak for all the millions of people in China and say they are all like this. But, I can say a little less than 100 of the students I have here in Xinzheng are very genuine in their service. Each time they serve me in any way and I thank them their response is “it’s my pleasure.”

One of my graduate students who is visiting campus and spending time with me this weekend made the comment that the World Academy for the Future of Women has changed her life.  She said “it is the most important and influential part of my whole education.” Another student said “I will serve you in every way because of your sacrifice to come teach us and make our lives so much powerful because of what we learn from you.”

When I share with them the difference they have made in my life they don’t get it. They are reluctant to accept my praise and validation of who they are and what they mean to me.

When I think of the millions of people in China and all that is being taught, learned and developed I feel like a grain of sand. I am but a speck in this big country trying to make a difference in the lives of women. I am teaching them how to be leaders, to stand up for themselves and make a difference in the world.  They are doing a wonderful job of it.

I am nothing like Mother Teresa (but would love to have even an ounce of her genuine love.) I quote her when asked by a journalist interviewing her about the hopeless task she was taking on in Calcutta. She said “My work is about love not statistics.” Another faculty member commented to me one day a few years ago about what a wonderful ministry I have here. I responded with “this is not a ministry I am teaching women how to tap into their divine selves and be who they are meant to be, and I love them.” I do feel so much love for the women in the academy and their love is reciprocated. Mother Teresa also said, “What we do here is nothing but a drop in the ocean, but if we didn’t do it, the ocean would be one drop less than it is.”

When the students express their gratitude and indebtedness to us as their facilitators all I can say to them is “It’s my pleasure.” I am beyond grateful to know women such as these and learn from their genuine love and service.

I Feel Like I Am Home

As I was walking down Italian Street last night (the shopping square on campus) I said hello to a number of students and foreign faculty. I realized I am very much at home here. I don’t always need a student to go with me to the store because I have learned where I like to shop and how to communicate with the cashiers. We ran into a couple of foreign faculties members I have known since I first came in 2011.  They have a daughter who is going to college in the states that I feel like I watched grow up. She was 12 when I first came and she helped me with my laundry. Now she is off to college. It is like I have another life here in China. I have watched children being born and grow up here and own the campus. A little girl that was just a baby when I first came to China named Hannah is now a 5 year old riding her bike with training wheels all around the coffee shop downstairs.

I have really grown accustomed to the music, smells, noises, people, and guidelines.  There are so many things that I feel comfortable with I am actually surprised. I guess this 5th visit has opened my eyes to how Chinese I have become.  My kids tell me that but I am now realizing there is some truth to it.

The things I love most and the reasons I come back are the students and their wonderful excitement, gratitude, and eagerness to learn. I feel so free to be self-expressed in the classroom because I feel so loved by them. I am meeting most of them for the first time because they are first-year students. They treat me with such kindness and love you would think we are old friends.

Maybe that is why I feel so at home. Even if I don’t know all the people I see I feel like I do. I am truly finding my second home is now China. I never thought I would say such a thing. This is my other family.

Gotta Love China

Many of the things I disliked about China when I first came I have learned to overlook since I have returned. I am back with a few friends who have come for the first time and I am seeing China through their eyes and see what I saw my first visit. One of the first things they mentioned was how stinky it was. Our bathroom in our room smells like a sewer. My first response is “it could be worse, we could have mold growing on our walls and sewer backing up.” We bought some bleach and pour it down the drain periodically.

The first day here we went shopping for my favorite blankets. As we came to the entrance of the store a man was standing there holding a little baby boy with his split pants spread eagle letting him pee. When he finished we walked in the store and proceeded to shop. I am used to seeing this and forget how alarming it can be to a new person in China.

The sound of a man or woman coughing up flem in their throat is a common sound and you must be cautious as to where that will land when they spit. I had to warn my newcomers of this nuance. It is something I am not fond of but have gotten used to.

The aroma in the cafeteria and the Chinese spices and flavorings they use in the food is another interesting phenomenon. I still don’t like going down to the cafeteria for breakfast because the smell of eggs is really strong.  For those who have not been here before they quickly find all the food taste similar and has the same spices and sauces on it. In other words if you’ve tried one dish you’ve tried them all.

The streets and sidewalks are very bumpy and rough. My mantra here is “every step intentional.” I don’t want to trip and fall and there are always multiple opportunities to do that as the unevenness of the walkways and obstructions are everywhere.

I am at ease with all these things that are now being seen for the first time with my friends. It’s funny how I have become accustomed to the inconveniences and just say “that’s China”.

I Love My Students

Our first class was tonight. We had the men’s and women’s academy in class together tonight because the men’s facilitator is not here yet.  We are preparing the students to present their projects at the Women’s Symposium May 16-17. They are very nervous. This is really a big step for these students. We expect about 4000 people to attend the Symposium. There will be breakout sessions for speakers who are coming from all over China and the U.S. These presentations are the culmination of what the students have learned and done on their projects all year long.

When I asked them who was nervous they all raised their hand. I asked what they were nervous about. What if I can’t say my words clearly, maybe I will look dumb, I will freeze and not be able to speak, I am afraid to make eye contact, I am afraid of so many people looking at me. These are some of their fears. We had them break up into their groups and start planning some attention getters and ways to leave their audience with something in their heart.

One of the groups is called Sunshine Angels. They go to the school for disabled children one day a week to do art projects with the hearing impaired and play games with the mentally handicapped. When the student stood up to give his attention getter it brought tears to my eyes. He said “If you share your heart with the children who cannot hear, speak or think clearly you will see they have angel’s wings on their backs. We at Sunshine Angels feel like they bring sunshine to our lives and we can fly with them when we share our love with them.”

Another group called Warm Hearts collects clothing for children in the villages. Her attention getter was “warm hearts make the world warmer”.  She said they have been able to collect clothing for 6 villages or more and have felt so good knowing these children are warmer in the winter. Another statement she made was “no more cold toes!”

I love the whole premise of the Academy. We are teaching leadership skills the students can use in all walks of life but they are applying them to a service project. Their hearts are touched and they have been so inspired by the experiences they have had it has changed their lives.

They have changed my life. My perspective of things changes every time I come here. I get to see shy, quiet Chinese students pushing through their fears to make a difference in the lives of those around them in a big way.  It is so rewarding to hear them talk about what they have done this past year and how it has impacted their lives and changed them. It makes me want to be a better me. I have a desire to be more kind, gentle and aware of those around me. That’s how I see these students.

Love Left In China

I have decided to start a new mantra while I am here in China. I will love every moment, look for the good, enjoy all the little things, and overlook the not so good.  I have been here for 3 days now and could name all the things that have happened that were frustrating, scary or unexpected, but instead I will share what I love.

I love the term “It’s my pleasure”.  I have never used this term much in the U.S. but it is used on a regular basis here in China. Every time I am served by one of my students and I thank them, their response is inevitably “it’s my pleasure”.  I don’t know if I have said that when people thank me for things I have done for them. I am going to start that.

I love hearing music playing on speakers across campus, sometimes it is oriental music other times it is something else beautiful. The chimes that ring on the hour always bring me a happy feeling in my heart.

The foreign faculty members who are still here are so friendly and greet me with love and open arms.  I love visiting with them at meals in the cafeteria and finding out what they have been doing. I admire them for staying here for years. Some of them have been here since I first came in 2011.  They have found a home and feel comfortable in the environment and of course love the students.

I love being greeted at the airport by smiling faces with a bouquet of lilies and a sign saying “Welcome to the World Academy for the Future of Women”.  It actually brings me to tears every time I see it. I know they are committed women who will do anything for us (the facilitators) because they appreciate our sacrifice to come and teach them.

I love having a personal assistant. Saran is mine this time and we have never met. She wants to make sure that at all times I am comfortable and have everything I need. She will send me messages asking if I need anything or to go anywhere. We went shopping in the rain yesterday and got all the necessities I did not bring with me.

I love the beautiful silk China blankets I have discovered. I bought some more yesterday to bring home. I slept curled up in one last night. I feel like a caterpillar curled up in a cocoon when I wrap up in it. I had someone tell me they want to suck their thumb when they wrap it around them.  I just love the soft feel and the light weight.

I have a new room this trip. It is much larger and brighter, better lighting and a fresh new feel to it.  I like having more space. I am sharing the room with a friend who came with me to teach. We each have our own bedroom and bath. The heat for the showers is regulated so I will learn to shower early or late in the evening.

Abraham Maslow said: What is Life for? It is for You..

Louise Erdrich said: Here I am, where I ought to Be….

I have to say, I am here in China where I ought to be for the next 5 weeks.  I will love my life here.