My China Family

I have come to realize I have a family in Arizona that I dearly miss and look forward to being with soon. I also have a China family I will dearly miss when I leave. Each time I come I fall in love with each of my students but there is always a few that I become very attached to and want to pack in my suitcase.  These students I speak of are the ones that seem to want to be with me all the time. If I mention anything I want to do or see or buy or go they jump at the opportunity and want to share time with me. They become my kids. I have had a few sleep overs in my apartment because the students stayed out late working for the academy and their dorm was locked. They love sleeping on my living room floor or couch. It seems to be such an honor for them.

I have also gotten to know some of the student’s mothers that quickly become my “big sister or little sister”.  They adopt me and I adopt them. I met one of my favorite student’s mothers this weekend. She was a student from a few years ago and we have been close over the past few years. She has told me about her mother and told her mother about me. When her mother came for the Symposium she was not even on campus and her mother came up to me and said “Grace’s mother “pointing to herself.  I realized she recognized me from pictures and was being so bold and brave to approach me and tell me who she was. With a translator we met, embraced and chatted.

Yesterday I had to make a one day trip to Beijing for a meeting and took Grace with me to help me maneuver my way around town. It is a good thing too. We took the fast train for 3 hours, and 2 hours of subway with 12 stop and changes, and a taxi. After the meeting we turned around and did it all over again only to return to Zhenghou by 11:30 p.m. We stayed at Grace’s home with her mother and grandmother. It was a very humble home but we were welcomed with open arms and excitement.

I heard more stories of hardship and gained a quick appreciation for the courage her mother has had over the years and all she has persevered. She is a mother much like me. She wants her daughter to follow her dreams, to be happy, to eat healthy, see the world and do what her heart tells her to do.  We bonded quickly and are close to the same age, so she now calls me her big sister. She woke up early to prepare and go out on the street to purchase a big breakfast with multiple dishes so I would have many choices. We walked through town a little bit hand in hand talking about our future visits.

I have a big China family. They are the reason I come back. Do I love Chinese food? No. Do I love the dirt, smog, smells, inconveniences, the traffic, and noise? No. I think Louie Armstrong sang a song that says “I hear babies cry, and I watch them grow, they’ll learn much more than I’ll ever know. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.” I feel the same here. I hear my students share, I watch them grow, they learn and teach me more than I will ever know and I think to myself “what a wonderful world!”

Mother's Day

I am a lucky girl is what the students say to me and I have to agree. I got to celebrate two mother’s day events. We are a day ahead of the states here so I awoke Sunday morning to many texts and cute little sticker characters with flowers falling down my phone screen from past and current students. They all call me their American mother. I got the most generous offer from one of them. Her message said: “Happy mother’s day to you, happy to tell you, today you have the privilege to have pelvic examination free, and they will give you a carnation.” I was so excited but denied the offer as I was too busy. Actually it did make me smile but I was not really interested in getting a pelvic exam in China. I’m not excited about getting one in the U.S.

I received some cute little trinket gifts and lots of hugs. I cannot tell you how much love there is here from the students. I am continuously amazed at how generous and full of love they are.

We interviewed 175 students to be members of the Women’s academy last week. It was a very full week. We were only able to accept 80 so had some very disappointed women. After we sent out the acceptance notice we had girls show up at our door, on our wechat and leaving me notes begging me to please let them in. They said they would do their best to improve in every way if we would let them be a member. That’s tough! I want them all but the biggest factor is their English comprehension. All the teachers teach in English and if they do not understand me at all they cannot come to class.  It has been hard and I still have a few girls pushing and really begging me. I have to meet with them today. It has been a really busy week.

This week we are preparing for the 9th annual Women’s symposium. There are many speakers coming from the states tonight and tomorrow to speak at the event. The academy members are busy practicing their speeches to present their projects. It is so fun to see them progress and put so much time into perfecting themselves. I love hearing how they say things in their translation and really hate to edit out what they say. One of my favorites is a student who has been practicing her speech for the mother daughter tea to express her appreciation to her grandmother who raised her. Her experience in the academy has made such an impact on her life she said about the facilitators “They have been a bridge to bring my two worlds together.” She sees clearly where she came from a poor village, living in an adobe home with her grandparents and 7 children, (her cousins). They had very little but they felt much love. Her grandmother is coming to the tea so she can express her thanks. Her grandfather died in 2014 of cancer and she shared her expression of “a son or daughter desires to serve but his parents are no more.” She wants nothing more but to serve her grandparents for raising her and giving her whatever they could.

Gratitude is what I see, Endless gratitude. That’s what I received on my mother’s day and that is what I feel. I am thankful to be a mom. I am thankful for amazing children, Thankful to be a Chinese mom, Thankful to have so many opportunities given to me to experience love and share my love.

More Love

After I got pregnant with my second child I wondered “is it possible to love another baby as much as I loved my first?” I soon found out is definitely possible. After four children I have loved each one individually and enjoyed each of their different temperaments and personalities. I didn’t know it would be possible to love my Chinese students as much as I love those of my first year here. Not true, I am falling in love with these students just as much as my first. There are always the favorites, only because they spend more time with me. When we walk home from class, those that walk with us and visit become fast friends.

I became the mama this week when I started braiding one of the girl’s hair. It was calling to me. She was standing in front of me and I just automatically starting braiding. She was so excited. She said “this is so wonderful it is as if you are my mother and playing with my hair. It is such a good memory. Even though I am an adult now I can be a child again when my mother combs my hair and I can feel younger.” Other girls started to shyly come forward and say “I would like a braid in my hair too, would you do so?”  I enjoyed it.

We are very busy these days with preparing the women in the academy for the 9th Annual Women’s symposium next weekend. They are all preparing a speech presentation to share the projects they have been working on all year. Their English is a little what I call “chenglish” and each speech has to be edited (58 in total) to make it more understandable. It has been a lot of work. The beauty of it is that the students are more than eager to have me correct them and show them how to make it sound better. They ask me to please help them and do not seem to get offended. It is a lesson to be learned for me to accept constructive criticism that might help me to be a better person, better communicator, and a better student.

We are also interviewing the new women who have applied for the academy for next fall. These poor students are sweating bullets, some almost moved to tears they are so nervous. I love hearing their stories and why they want to be a member of the academy. One of them today said “I want to find ways to help the poor and to serve more in my world so I can be a better person and broaden my horizons.” They are so excited to make friends with us foreigners and want to spend more time visiting. They tell me I am lovely and kind. I feel the same way about them. I have more love to share and can’t seem to quit loving who they are and what they give back.

Labor Day

May 3, 2015

It is a holiday this weekend and not many students are around. We had 3 students who wanted to take us to the park on Friday. I have walked through the amusement park many times and it has felt haunted. Today it was alive! There were kids and families everywhere. All the rides were functioning and games were being played. It was such a fun, energetic alive atmosphere to be in. We decided to ride the bumper cars. One of the students is taking drivers education classes and failed the test 3 times so she warned us she is not a good driver.  I am sure I was 16 again riding and bumping into everyone. We gathered a lot of onlookers watching us having a good time. Once we left the ride everyone else did too. Once again we are rock stars; being Americans in China they all want pictures with us or with their kids.

From there we went to the lotus park and had an artist paint our names in Chinese on a banner using pictures. It is really beautiful. We rode the paddle boats around the lotus pads in the green water with weeping willows drooping over our heads. One of my students said she is graduating and has never been to this park or rode the boats. She is a nursing student and very studious. She said her mother would be so happy to hear she had such lovely day, in fact the best day she had in a long time.

A little boy 11 years old on roller blades kept following us around. We sat on the grass and he sat down with us. He tried his English with us and the rest my girls translated. He was delightful, singing us songs and saying the alphabet. When he left he made a cross on his heart and said “God bless you.” It will always be a sweet memory.

Saturday we went to Kaifeng. The traffic was bumper to bumper and men and children were getting out of their cars and peeing on the side of the road. There was a lot of honking but no impatience and swearing obscenities. The honking is just their way of warning people of where they are and they are coming through. I have decided Chinese traffic is not as bad as I thought. They have a place to go and need to get there and will warn you when they are coming your way with a honk. They all seem to know this rule and follow it. There are no particular lanes to follow, just get where you need to go.

Kaifeng is a garden city with an ancient park (every city in China has an ancient park or monument) that was like an amusement park. All the rides were self-propelled; there were men that were doing all the work. Even the boats on the water were being rowed by a man with a Chinese hat on rowing with one large paddle. There were many performances of old world traditions and beautiful costumes. We dressed in some emperor clothing for photos and became instant rock stars. Everyone wanted to take pictures with us and their babies. We decided we should have charged to take photos with them.

The buildings and grounds were like a painting and we were a part of it. Like Mary Poppins when she jumped into the painting, we jumped in and became a part of the masterpiece. There were a lot of people but it was beautiful to see the trees, rivers, bridges, water wheels, and ornate buildings preserved for hundreds of years.

My friends hosted us for the day. For lunch we had special steamed buns or boutza and dumplings famous in Kaifeng. After the park we went to an indoor food court with all the unique culture foods from that region. I have heard stories of the Chinese eating large bugs but never have seen them until now. We saw 4 inch black scorpions, and black spiders, centipedes, scorpions, grasshoppers, and cockroaches on skewers, rabbit head, chicken blood, sheep testicles and more. It was quite eye opening and great for picture taking. I am far too fearful to try such things. With all the many options  in this huge court I settled for steamed rice in half a pineapple (delicious) , a mango shake, and egg cakes (tastes like custard pie).

I loved being with my friends and enjoyed their company. I am learning a little Chinese so I try my words and they always laugh to hear me talk. The culture of service continues to play out when we are treated to anything. They paid for our meals, our entrance to the park and refused to let me pay. They said “it is my honor to treat you.”  What a beautiful lesson to be learned.

I Belive

What inspired me to come to China in the first place? Did someone just say, “Hey go teach in China it is a cool thing.” No, when I was first asked, I was told it was an academy of women who are learning to “take a stand for themselves, and have a voice to make a difference in the world. “ Now, that is what spoke to me. Where is that happening in China? Right now, in XinzhengHenan Province.

We sang the women’s anthem tonight in class which says: World Academy were courageous helping women lead around the world, world academy were inspired helping women lead around the world, world academy were committed helping women lead around the world, world academy global citizens helping women lead around the world.

Every time they sing it I cry of course. Then we recited the Academy Oath. “As a member of the World Academy for the Future of Women I am committed to the advancement and acceleration of women’s leadership worldwide. I am empowered through the discovery of my passion, my purpose and my path to success. I will be courageous and will act with honesty and integrity. I will go beyond my personal and geographic boundaries. I will be generous with my time and resources. I will honor and respect the rights and dignity of all people. I will widen my vision for what is possible and strengthen my capacity to lead. I will live a meaningful and fully expressed life. As a global citizen, I will take responsibility for my action and will live my life in harmony with the planet. I make this oath freely and give my word to keep it. “

It is powerful to hear the women recite this in English and in Chinese. I continue to tell them stories of why I am here.  I love seeing not only their growth but seeing mine as well. When I step out of myself in a big way by coming to China I get to see not only what’s possible for them but for me too.

I am an imperfect person with my flaws, brokenness and selfishness. When I come here I get to step out of those weaknesses and experience a sharing like I have never experienced before. I believe I am doing a great work.  Al Sacharov said “The key is to trust your heart to move where your unique talents can flourish. This old world will really spin when work becomes a joyous expression of the soul. “I feel like this work here has become a joyous expression of who I am.  When I get up in front of my students and teach I see someone I don’t see anywhere else. When I look into their eyes they give me permission to offer them everything I have, to love them purely, to teach them completely and to express myself without hesitation. I believe I am here for a reason.  Walter Anderson said: “Believe in something big. Your life is worth a noble motive.”

I never thought I would do something that would be so rewarding. Not to be redundant but I will say in this post over and over:  I Believe. I Believe nothing is too good to be true, I Believe there is a plan for everything, I Believe opportunity is everywhere, I Believe change is possible, I Believe in new beginnings, I Believe in following my heart, I Believe You and I can make a difference, I Believe We can make a better world, I Believe in today ,I Believe in giving back and paying forward, I Believe there is a Light at the end of the tunnel, I Believe that angels are watching over us, I Believe that We eachhave a purpose and there is a plan for us to follow if we step into it, I Believe in people, I Believe in love, I Believe in kindness, and generosity, I Believe in forgiveness , I Believe I am here because a power greater than me brought me here and continues to.