I know I have been absent all summer. I apologize. I am back. I am continuing on my pathway of awakening to life. My latest issue I am addressing is My ” judger” Why do I judge everything that takes place? I have to put it into a category of my understanding so it fits into my sphere of knowing.
When I am presented with something from anyone I examine how that fits into my realm of belief or understanding. I’m the worlds’ worst judge or best judge of myself as well. When I have a new behavior, thought, or action that is different ,I judge it. I question” is this okay, is this good, bad, wonderful, terrible?” It doesn’t have to be this way. I don’t have to judge, I could just look at it for what it is. Do you wonder what the heck I’m talking about? An example is: I had a client cancel so I had an hour to spare. First, I judged the experience of why did they cancel, not just what is “they called and said they could not come.” The next thing I did was leave the office and thought I’d go do some shopping. I drove down the road, walked into a fabric ( which I normally love) and was not a bit interested in being there. I walked out to my car and drove back to the office. My immediate response was “what’s wrong with you?” Why didn’t you want to look at fabric? You always loved that.” As opposed to “I wasn’t interested in being there.” I couldn’t just be with what it was I had to judge it. The next example is I wanted to call my husband at work because I was thinking of him. My internal dialogue was “He’s probably busy, or relaxing so don’t bother him.” I told myself “don’t call he may not want to talk to you and you will feel bad.” Do I have a lot of chatter? You bet! I called him. He was happy I did. These are examples of my natural reaction to everything that enters my existing world. I am challenging my judgments. They don’t have to be who I am or what I do. They can easily just be experiences if that is how I look at them.
The awareness of what I’m doing when I do it is my first awakening to myself and what it is I do. It is my first step., The next step is to name what it is and STOP! Stop before I make a judgement, tear it apart, question and examine it. Just name what it is. ie. “I didn’t want to shop, my client called and cancelled, I wanted to call my husband. ” Simple? Yes, it’s much simpler than listening to the chatter and entertaining the thoughts of right, wrong, good or bad. If you’re a judge, try it , you might like it.