There was a great game we played as children. The game of Hide and Seek. I am sure I felt a surge of adrenalin when I got found and let out a scream. Hiding has always been a fun childhood game, hide,find or jump out and scare someone. I just played peek a boo with my grandson via face-time on my phone. It made him giggle to seem me jump out from behind a blanket. It’s a fun acceptable game to play as a child but hiding as an adult is not acceptable if one wants to be self expressed in life.
I have hid most of my life. I was born the youngest in a family of 6 children. My mother told me I was planned to be the playmate of my brother who was 2 years older.My brother was my best friend. He was smart, fun, and popular. I hid a lot behind him. Until the day he left for college I was known as his little sister and I did not mind that. I learned the hiding game early. My older sisters asked my brother and I to go buy them Pepsi at the store up the street from our home. It was dark and we were scared so when a car drove by we hid behind a parked car.I hid from my dad when he got mad, my sister when she was looking for me, my parents when they fought, my teachers when my assignment wasn’t done. Hiding was my tool to not perform , get involved or face my fears. Fear was a common emotion for me. School was difficult for me and my grades were not great, therefore I hid my report card.
Today my hiding game most used is staying busy. I’ve always been busy, it works well for me. When I was a teenager I would stay busy working a job, playing with friends, cleaning house and cooking. Now I hide with jobs, church, house, kids, grand kids, cooking being a business manager and helping others. I am a natural hider.
Before I went to China I worked hard to not push myself too hard out of my comfort zone. When I learned of the opportunity to go teach in China it called and pulled at my heart so hard I could not deny it.I pushed through so many obstacle preparing to go, having no idea what would happen to me when I got there.
In China there was no hiding. I was and still am constantly called upon to step out of my sameness or usual routines. I never knew from day to day what would be asked of me. When I would be asked to give a speech, go to a meeting as a representative, lead a parade , speak to the graduate school of Psychology or answer multitudes of questions my answer was always YES. What I found is when I wrote down “I will go to other countries and empower women to take a stand for themselves and have a voice” I made a statement that brought me to life.
I watched the movie Inkheart with my grandsons. If the main character read the words in the book out loud the words came alive. The spoken worked is powerful. IF we write it, then speak it, it will come alive, it will be present, tangible and real.