The check lists of my past were abolished about a year ago. When I realized my lists were running me I knew it was time to quit. My brain use to have compartments where I would store information. Things like people’s names, phone numbers, grocery list items, what is Susan’s favorite treat and so on. That mind is gone! I now have one compartment that feels like a million conversations, assignments and duties. In other words it’s a blurr . Consequently if anything is to be done or remembered the check list has reemerged.
My list of things to do before I leave the country started out as a few pages. I leave for the Philippines in 2 hours and my list is done. My grown children laugh at me for cleaning the bathrooms before I leave. It’s important ( ok maybe a little obsessive) to know I can come home to a clean house. My bags are packed and probably over weight. My carry on is loaded with candy and little gifts for my Chinese students graduation. When I walk through villages in China I always give candy or balloons to the children. Their parents have to approve and coax the shy ones to reach out and say xiexie (thank you). I’ts fun and sort of like being the pied piper . After giving out a few pieces of candy other children start to appear out of homes or fields. News spreads fast when a tall American is in town handing out candy. I hope to do the same in the Philippines and share what I can in a community that needs the love.
My nervousness is starting to appear in my stomach. I know what to expect (mostly) when I go to China. I do not know what to expect in the Philippines. We will fly into Manilla and spend a day sight seeing. From there we fly into Tacloban. This is the city that was devastated by Typhoon Haiyan last fall. It is the area my daughter lived in for 18 months as a missionary. We were able to have a friend of hers book us a hotel ( hopefully it will have a bed and bathroom). She has told me stories of the primitive way of life there so I am feeling a bit anxious. I’m spoiled with comforts of my home, food and transportation. It is another challenge I am willing to step into. I want to bring them hope and help in any way I can. Their stories will inspire me I am sure and they will teach me more than I will them.
I have had this trip on my vision board for 2 years. When things call to me I write them down. This called to me at the time and I’m sure there’s a purpose but it doesn’t take away the anxiety for the unknown.
I’m learning to stay open to what’s possible when I don’t plan or know what the outcome of things will be. When I stay open to it I get more than I ever bargained for. Look at what calls to your heart, write it down and let it happen.